Protocol for Speaking With an Ex in Writing

When your divorce case is being litigated in court, you may want to take extra care and consideration when speaking with a former spouse. While some people can remain friendly and amicable throughout the entire divorce process, more often than not, spouses use this opportunity to say all of the things that have been pent up over their marriage.

Should I contact my former spouse?

The most important thing to remember is that while there may be hurt feelings and emotions throughout the divorce process, this is not the time to let out all of the things you may have been feeling over the years. No matter how strong the urge may be to contact your former spouse, you need to resist this urge to protect your case. When you are involved in court with a former spouse, any information sent to them may fall into the hands of their attorney, who can ultimately show this to the judge as evidence against you. In fact, these slight frustrations can be can be used by the judge to make harmful determinations about you and your character.

When you feel the need to contact your spouse and vent, you should instead:

  • Step back and take a deep breath
  • Give your emotions time to settle
  • Contact an attorney to help craft a response

Contacting an attorney is especially useful if the message is regarding anything that occurred with the court, the statement of the judge, or interpreting the judge's orders. This is important. Courtroom decisions can be made based on what you send or your spouse say to each other over email, text messages, or other written forms of communication.

When contacting your spouse, make sure you use discretion. With four divorce attorneys, certified paralegals, and an excellent legal support staff, The Law Office of Dennis R. Vetrano, Jr. LLC is equipped to provide the answers you need.

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