Can I Date During My New York Divorce?

The one question that comes up a lot is, “Is it okay for me to date while my divorce is pending?” If you’re wondering the same thing, you have plenty of company. Logically, we are inclined to say, “It’s best not to date until the divorce is final,” but that’s not practical or realistic for a lot of people. If you’re anxious to insert yourself back into the dating scene, you’re probably wondering if it’s okay and if so, are there some rules to follow? In this article, we shed light on dating during a divorce and how to navigate it wisely.

Is it okay to date while your New York divorce is pending? While some states frown heavily upon dating during a divorce and some even consider it adultery, New York judges are rather progressive and don’t typically care if a spouse is dating while their divorce is pending in the courts. If you do want to start dating again, our advice is to make sure you’re physically separated first and no longer living together. If you still live under the same roof, you should hold off on dating until one of you moves out.

Dating During Divorce: It’s a Delicate Subject

There is definitely a right way and a wrong way to date during a divorce. If you plan on setting up that Tinder account or asking your crush at the gym out, follow this advice:

  • As mentioned above, do NOT date until you’re separated from your spouse and you’ve made the divorce public.
  • Do not change your status on Facebook to “single” until your divorce is final. Tip: If you don’t want your status to be “married” or “it’s complicated,” Facebook does have an option not to have any relationship status at all.
  • Do discuss dating with your spouse and reach an agreement about it.
  • Avoid taking dates to places your spouse frequents or where you may run into your spouse.
  • If you live in a small community, date in groups, or consider taking your date to a neighboring town where you can have more privacy.
  • If you have children, only date when it’s your spouse’s night with the kids.
  • Do not introduce your dates to your children until after the divorce is final and you’re in a committed relationship. We recommend waiting at least six months after the divorce is final to make an introduction.
  • When you do introduce your new significant other to your children, let your kids know ahead of time (don’t surprise them) and do it in a fun and casual atmosphere, such as the beach, a movie theatre, a bowling alley, or your kids’ favorite restaurant. If your children can have fun with your new partner, it can make things a lot easier from the gate.
  • Be honest with your dates that you’re currently going through a divorce.
  • If you’re a woman, avoid pregnancy and if you’re a man, be sure not to impregnate another woman. If you’re a woman and you get pregnant, your divorce can be delayed until after the baby is born and a paternity test is performed to confirm the baby’s father is not your husband.
  • Do not spend marital assets on your dates. If you’re separated from your spouse, ask your attorney about spending money on your dates and make sure any money you spend falls under the category of “separate assets,” otherwise, if you spend marital assets, your spouse can use it against you in court and it can reduce your share of the marital estate accordingly.

If you’re headed toward divorce, contact the Law Office of Dennis R. Vetrano, Jr., LLC by calling (845) 605-4330 today!

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